Sunday, August 15, 2010

Stoned

A week ago today I accomplished a huge challenge. I did my first sprint triathlon. Yes, I'll pat myself on the back.
I trained.
I even prayed.
I freaked out.
I wanted to back out.
But I didn't.
I finished. Not too badly either.
But apparently I didn't hydrate..............

I always look at trials and even good things in my life and ask myself what does God want me to learn from this? Through stress, illness, moving, job changes, births, deaths, miscarriage, fear, anxiety, joy, happiness, complacency, and peace, I always expect a lesson from God. I had come to peace this past month as I grieve my Mom that there wasn't a lesson for me to be learned. That was hard to accept. I kept waiting for God to show me the message or the lesson He was trying to teach me through the death of my Mom. I think if He said, "Oh here Cami, see this is what I want to teach you through this," it would somehow make it easier for me to grieve. Instead a few weeks ago, I heard, "there is nothing for you here except to grieve, it was her time to go, it wasn't about you, it was about Me and her." So I just kind of blocked it out and focused on my feat of triathlon coming in the near future. I had something to accomplish. Except I didn't hydrate.

I woke up the day after my triathlon and felt puny. I had felt good all day Sunday and even mowed the lawn after the race. Yes,
I was super woman. Monday at 7:30 a.m. I was in the fetal position on the couch, calling Daniel and my neighbors, sweating, shaking, crying, praying I would pass out, and vomiting. Every move was excrutiating. My first thought was if this is just a muscle spasm from the race, then I am a huge wimp. But a few hours later, after urgent care, CT scan, 2 trips to the ER, percocet, 4 bags of fluid, and many prescriptions, I had been stoned. Kidney stoned---and percocet stoned. A tale of two stones. One lodged in my ureter above my bladder, one significant stone still lodged happily in my kidney waiting to slide down my ureter.

I spent last week in and out of la-la land. Many times my pain broke through the percocet, which, by the way is nasty stuff. I was blessed to have my husband who rearranged his life to help me, my Mother-in-law sit with me and hand me prescriptions, and angels of neighbors and friends who took my kids without a thought, brought food, and drove me to appointments and even surgery. My surgery was Thursday the 12th. Exactly 8 months to the day my Mom died. Yeah, that wasn't on my mind at all. I kept reminding myself that God was in control and this isn't about me. But it was. Because I didn't hydrate.

My stones are more than likely due to dehydration. I am a poor hydrater. I don't drink anything really except tea occasionally and water. I don't drink caffeine or sodas, but I don't drink enough of what I should---water. Through my training this summer in the high heat indexes, I haven't been hydrating properly. That is what we are assuming. I am healthy and do not really have any other factors that would contribute to kidney stones.

How crucial water is to our lives. We cannot live without it. It replenishes. It refreshes. It restores. It heals. Water is life.

So my lesson is learned. God gave me one this week. Maybe it was because I had so desired one. Maybe it was because He
was reminding me He was in control. Maybe it was because He doesn't want me to grieve without Him. Maybe it was because
I wasn't hydrating on the Living Water. Maybe it was the only way he could remind me that I need Him. I need to be replenished. I need to be refreshed. I need to be restored. I need to be healed. I need Life. He is the Water. He is the Life.

I have a new found respect for pain. I have a new understanding of suffering. I have a new found hope of healing.

May we always hydrate. When God doesn't have a lesson for us, let us always be there drinking Him in and waiting for what
He has yet to bring.
John 14:6