I started running about 6 years ago. It was and still is hard for me. When I started I could barely run to the end of the street. I remember how thrilled I was when I could run a whole mile. I had always exercised my whole life, but it consisted of speed walking and stair stepping. Running (or jogging in my case) has been a mental and physical feat that I still battle with. So you can imagine last fall I was ecstatic to be running 10 miles at a time. I was training to do the Thanksgiving Day half marathon. But running went on the back-burner when my Mom got worse and then died in December.
I didn't run for 4 months.
Every time I tried to run, I had to stop. It was really hard. I couldn't figure out why my body was so tired. Duh! I knew that mentally grief had overrun me. I was forgetting things, (still am) couldn't think of words, and then some things just didn't seem that important to me. I went from sleeping really good and being exhausted during the day to not sleeping well at all. Now I fluctuate between the two. I thought that I was doing good with the whole sadness issue only to find myself struggling with it more. It wasn't until last month at a routine check-up that my doctor asked me if I had experienced any stress lately when I was asking her about some issues I had, when I put two and two together. My body didn't want to run.
That made me mad.
Something I had worked so hard and and had set goals for I was struggling with. Big deal right? For me it is a stress reliever. It is something that challenges me. It is something I feel I can accomplish. It is something I can set goals for. I, I, I,----me, me, me. Here I am walking nearly every run.
A few weeks ago I was running on a Wednesday morning. I was determined to do my 6 miles and not stop no matter what. I ran up a long hill in our subdivision and then slowed down. I was still running but at a snail's pace. I always joke that people must see me and wonder how a person can run so slow. And then, even in my snail's pace, my legs were hurting so bad. I refused to walk. Then I felt like God was asking me why I run? What is wrong with having to walk sometimes? Is this a big deal? What is better for me? To grieve like I need to or to run like I want to? So I stopped my snail's pace and walked. Then the most beautiful fragrance hit me. We have a long row of magnolia trees planted towards the back of the neighborhood and the blooms were just starting to open up. It was so sweet I had to stand and just smell. The perfume was perfect. The blooms were beautiful. I knew that if I had still been running I wouldn't have smelled them or seen them.
The rest of my walk was perfect. I spent the time praying. I thanked God for my legs. I thanked Him that I could walk. I thanked Him that I could run. I thanked Him for the fragrance of the magnolias. I thanked Him for His creation. I thanked Him for grief. I thanked Him for speaking to me.
I have learned that grief is a terrible thing to waste. It is hard and it is getting harder. I feel like I am just now climbing up the grief hill. I am not afraid of the pinnacle though. I also so know I can't do it without God. I know too that He grieves with me. Sometimes I will be able to run and sometimes I'll just have to walk. Both are good. Either way it isn't about me.
Whether I walk or I run, my desire is that my life is a sweet, pleasing fragrance to God.
So I run because I enjoy it. I set goals because I can. I walk to slow my life. I grieve because He enables me. All of this He allows me to do for the time being. Because acting spoiled makes me miss the aroma of His Spirit--which is always there for me.
So if you see me running, good. If you see me walking, even better. If you see me running fast, it probably isn't me :) If you see me crying when I am running, I am just talented. Sooooo.....
May we smell the magnolia's before we are too tired. May we be the magnolia's to God through our gratefulness in Christ's sacrifice. Always sweet, always fragrant, always blooming......whether running or walking.
Love Cami
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Dry
I use to hear people say that God spoke to them. When I was little I often wondered what that was like. How did they know it was God? When did it happen? When would God speak to me? How could I be sure it was Him? How did He "speak"?
What is amazing is I can look back over my relationship with Christ and pinpoint times when He spoke to me. Sometimes it was raging loud, sometimes more subtle, but I can definitely see them in my past and I desire so much more speaking in my future. I will give you an example. Last spring I was running one night and I was doing my 3 mile route which takes me down my parent's street. I think it was in June and my Mom had already been diagnosed with her blood disease. When I ran down their cul-de-sac, God impressed upon my heart that He was going to take my Mom. I started crying, but my prayer at that moment was that He was in control and I wanted what He wanted. He also showed me how to love her--she was difficult to love--but He made it so clear how He loved her and He gave me peace with some issues I had been dealing with for a long time. I didn't know that God was going to take her in the next 6 months, I was thinking within one to two years, but He prepared me in a way I didn't deserve.
But what I was really thinking about this morning were the times when God was silent. I was listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler and he was talking about the wells we dig. We dig for things that are not God. We come back up thirsty. We come back up empty. We have everything in life, physically. By the rest of the world's standards, we are rich. We are rich anyways. So why do we feel so dry?
There was a time in my life when I didn't hear God speak. I had a relationship with Him, but I didn't want to hear Him speak. I didn't read my Bible for almost a whole year. I was pretty legalistic about reading it too. I still went to church, but I didn't want to go. I still tithed, but my heart was grudging. I wasn't in any active sin. I wasn't in any disobedience. I still loved God. I had a wall up. I was dry. At the time I didn't know why. I do now but that is a whole other blog.
I'll never forget coming out of that dryness. God overwhelmed me one morning on my way to work (I was in college). He reminded me that He was Sovereign. That no matter where I was or how dry I was, He was there. The dryness I had was to teach me as well. No matter how many walls I had up, He was still using them in my relationship with Him. It was okay to be dry, because when I became thirsty, His quench was going to be so sweet.
I suppose that is why I desire sanctification so much. I can truly look back in my relationship with Him and see how He has worked and it makes me want Him to work more. There have been other "dry" spells but they have been short lived and fewer and far between. I want to hear His voice. I want Him to speak to me even though I do not deserve it. He has truly revealed to me how much He loves me in the past 6 years, or I guess I have just started to realize it.
I don't know why this was on my heart this morning. Somebody reading this is dry. It is okay. Pray that God will make you thirsty for Him. Pray that your dryness will be short lived. Pray that God will show you the wells you are digging. Pray that His "quench" will come soon.
God is sovereign over our dryness.
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
Colossians 1:15-20
Love Cami
What is amazing is I can look back over my relationship with Christ and pinpoint times when He spoke to me. Sometimes it was raging loud, sometimes more subtle, but I can definitely see them in my past and I desire so much more speaking in my future. I will give you an example. Last spring I was running one night and I was doing my 3 mile route which takes me down my parent's street. I think it was in June and my Mom had already been diagnosed with her blood disease. When I ran down their cul-de-sac, God impressed upon my heart that He was going to take my Mom. I started crying, but my prayer at that moment was that He was in control and I wanted what He wanted. He also showed me how to love her--she was difficult to love--but He made it so clear how He loved her and He gave me peace with some issues I had been dealing with for a long time. I didn't know that God was going to take her in the next 6 months, I was thinking within one to two years, but He prepared me in a way I didn't deserve.
But what I was really thinking about this morning were the times when God was silent. I was listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler and he was talking about the wells we dig. We dig for things that are not God. We come back up thirsty. We come back up empty. We have everything in life, physically. By the rest of the world's standards, we are rich. We are rich anyways. So why do we feel so dry?
There was a time in my life when I didn't hear God speak. I had a relationship with Him, but I didn't want to hear Him speak. I didn't read my Bible for almost a whole year. I was pretty legalistic about reading it too. I still went to church, but I didn't want to go. I still tithed, but my heart was grudging. I wasn't in any active sin. I wasn't in any disobedience. I still loved God. I had a wall up. I was dry. At the time I didn't know why. I do now but that is a whole other blog.
I'll never forget coming out of that dryness. God overwhelmed me one morning on my way to work (I was in college). He reminded me that He was Sovereign. That no matter where I was or how dry I was, He was there. The dryness I had was to teach me as well. No matter how many walls I had up, He was still using them in my relationship with Him. It was okay to be dry, because when I became thirsty, His quench was going to be so sweet.
I suppose that is why I desire sanctification so much. I can truly look back in my relationship with Him and see how He has worked and it makes me want Him to work more. There have been other "dry" spells but they have been short lived and fewer and far between. I want to hear His voice. I want Him to speak to me even though I do not deserve it. He has truly revealed to me how much He loves me in the past 6 years, or I guess I have just started to realize it.
I don't know why this was on my heart this morning. Somebody reading this is dry. It is okay. Pray that God will make you thirsty for Him. Pray that your dryness will be short lived. Pray that God will show you the wells you are digging. Pray that His "quench" will come soon.
God is sovereign over our dryness.
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
Colossians 1:15-20
Love Cami
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Pioneer
Really the only great recipe I have is an Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe. It isn't even my own. Someone gave it to me. I also haven't perfected it yet. My cookies seem to get harder as the days go on instead of remaining soft and gooey. I'm experimenting with it though.Because I want to have the best Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies, since it is one of the few things I actually make from scratch.
So the Pioneer Woman I am not. Have you seen her website? She is an amazing woman. She runs a cattle ranch, home-schools four kids,cooks homemade (from scratch) recipes for every meal, dabbles in photography, renovates her home, and keeps track of her massive sponsored website. I can't even get my dachshund puppy 100% housebroken!!
I tend to tip towards the Peggy Bundy end of the mother spectrum. Well, I'm not that bad, at least cosmetically.
I have had the privilege of praying for two women I met last weekend at Calvary Refuge Center. One was more Peggy Bundy, one was more Pioneer Woman. April was a washed out woman that was a mother of two. She was exasperated with her children and she exasperated them as well. Her kids were the age of mine. I sat with them during dinner and kept my questions basic because I feared April would chuck her food tray at me if I pressed too hard. Chronic pain she had, no job, not enough of her pain meds, and two precious children who were behind in school and society. I wanted to take them home. I wanted to make them mine. But I can't and I am not suppose to. So I have prayed that God would protect them, provide for them, and send someone to love all three of them. They are His to fix and grow and He has blessed me with the imprint they made on my life--just from the whole hour I spent with them.
The other woman was Danette. A continuous recovering alcoholic. Already had a job she was starting the next day. Grown, successful children. She couldn't wait to get back on her feet. She was working hard cleaning the kitchen. She told me about her faith. Her struggle with alcohol, her demon. The fact that she was a lousy drunk. She took full responsibility for her life. She was at the homeless shelter because she got herself into the mess she was in and she wasn't going to dump it on her family. She was accountable. She was headstrong. She is going to be successful again. She said she wasn't embarrassed to be drunk, so she certainly wasn't going to be embarrassed being sober and talking about Jesus. What attracted me to her was that she came up and loved on April's children when they were eating. She had only known them a few days but she loved on them, and they on her. Danette was honest and amazing. God is using her. I am blessed by the imprint she made on my life--just from the whole 20 minutes I spent with her.
I have been struggling with self-discipline lately. In many aspects of my life. Maybe I'm internally rebelling against my OCD nature :) Maybe in my desire for sanctification, I have tried to sanctify myself. Maybe God is showing me more and more and more and more where I have sin. It is probably a combination. However, I have been reading Romans, again, and chapter 8 is all about life through the Spirit. Paul talks about the sinful mind and how if we are controlled by our sinful nature we cannot please God. If we have Christ, our body is dead because of sin but alive because of righteousness. If we live in accordance with the Spirit, we will have our minds set on what the Spirit desires. Our life with the Spirit comes from Christ's death. We shouldn't be slaves to sin, but slaves to righteousness. I need to drop myself. I need to let God continue to discipline and refine me. I want to let the Spirit fill me. I want to be a slave to righteousness. I pray that my sinful nature will be less and less as He gives me the ability to live according to Him.
I am thankful that God has given me a spectrum of women to learn from. Whether it is a TV icon, a master of the home, a woman without a home, or a woman heading towards home, God has shown me that He wants to continue to progress us towards Him. That should be all I desire. That is all I desire. The work He has for me is becoming more like Him. It is making sure my husband and children have a desire to be more like Him. It is opening my home to allow others to be here and learn more about Him.
And......maybe the cookies and dachshund will fall into place as well.
May you be an "April" in life in terms of you needing God and may you be a "Danette" in life in terms of pursuing Him. Either way, may yourself be accountable and a slave to righteousness.
So the Pioneer Woman I am not. Have you seen her website? She is an amazing woman. She runs a cattle ranch, home-schools four kids,cooks homemade (from scratch) recipes for every meal, dabbles in photography, renovates her home, and keeps track of her massive sponsored website. I can't even get my dachshund puppy 100% housebroken!!
I tend to tip towards the Peggy Bundy end of the mother spectrum. Well, I'm not that bad, at least cosmetically.
I have had the privilege of praying for two women I met last weekend at Calvary Refuge Center. One was more Peggy Bundy, one was more Pioneer Woman. April was a washed out woman that was a mother of two. She was exasperated with her children and she exasperated them as well. Her kids were the age of mine. I sat with them during dinner and kept my questions basic because I feared April would chuck her food tray at me if I pressed too hard. Chronic pain she had, no job, not enough of her pain meds, and two precious children who were behind in school and society. I wanted to take them home. I wanted to make them mine. But I can't and I am not suppose to. So I have prayed that God would protect them, provide for them, and send someone to love all three of them. They are His to fix and grow and He has blessed me with the imprint they made on my life--just from the whole hour I spent with them.
The other woman was Danette. A continuous recovering alcoholic. Already had a job she was starting the next day. Grown, successful children. She couldn't wait to get back on her feet. She was working hard cleaning the kitchen. She told me about her faith. Her struggle with alcohol, her demon. The fact that she was a lousy drunk. She took full responsibility for her life. She was at the homeless shelter because she got herself into the mess she was in and she wasn't going to dump it on her family. She was accountable. She was headstrong. She is going to be successful again. She said she wasn't embarrassed to be drunk, so she certainly wasn't going to be embarrassed being sober and talking about Jesus. What attracted me to her was that she came up and loved on April's children when they were eating. She had only known them a few days but she loved on them, and they on her. Danette was honest and amazing. God is using her. I am blessed by the imprint she made on my life--just from the whole 20 minutes I spent with her.
I have been struggling with self-discipline lately. In many aspects of my life. Maybe I'm internally rebelling against my OCD nature :) Maybe in my desire for sanctification, I have tried to sanctify myself. Maybe God is showing me more and more and more and more where I have sin. It is probably a combination. However, I have been reading Romans, again, and chapter 8 is all about life through the Spirit. Paul talks about the sinful mind and how if we are controlled by our sinful nature we cannot please God. If we have Christ, our body is dead because of sin but alive because of righteousness. If we live in accordance with the Spirit, we will have our minds set on what the Spirit desires. Our life with the Spirit comes from Christ's death. We shouldn't be slaves to sin, but slaves to righteousness. I need to drop myself. I need to let God continue to discipline and refine me. I want to let the Spirit fill me. I want to be a slave to righteousness. I pray that my sinful nature will be less and less as He gives me the ability to live according to Him.
I am thankful that God has given me a spectrum of women to learn from. Whether it is a TV icon, a master of the home, a woman without a home, or a woman heading towards home, God has shown me that He wants to continue to progress us towards Him. That should be all I desire. That is all I desire. The work He has for me is becoming more like Him. It is making sure my husband and children have a desire to be more like Him. It is opening my home to allow others to be here and learn more about Him.
And......maybe the cookies and dachshund will fall into place as well.
May you be an "April" in life in terms of you needing God and may you be a "Danette" in life in terms of pursuing Him. Either way, may yourself be accountable and a slave to righteousness.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hard
This was written on April 12th--just realized I didn't post it--
I am so glad spring is here. I didn't realize how much I needed spring until it finally arrived. Fall is usually my favorite season, but last fall seems so far away and winter was so long. Spring--has arrived. With it, all things become new.
My Mom died four months ago today. It seems so far away yet it also seems so fresh. The past few months have been really hard for me. I am a terrible communicator of my feelings. I do not like to cry or talk about things that bother me. Most of the time I try to sort them out on my own, which is not always healthy. This is all new to me so I am taking it as it comes. I know all the steps of the grieving process but it is different when you are the one going through it. It has been hard.
Easter was different for me this year. In years past I have spent a lot of time reflecting either on the crucifixion or the resurrection of Christ. This year the time in between affected me the most. I guess it is because I have lost someone close to me so I really reflected on what each loved one of Christ felt. I cannot even imagine how hard it must have been to lose your Christ, your Savior, your Messiah, your Completer. I thought about Mary who lost her son. I thought about Peter who denied his Rabbi. I thought about Mary Magdalene who lost her Savior. I thought about the disciples who lost all hope. I wonder what the darkness of those few days felt like for them. They didn't have the resurrection to look forward to because they weren't looking for it. I cannot even imagine how hard it was for them. They didn't even know that they were waiting for something. They didn't realize that after the fall, their spring was going to arrive.
I am so glad that I do not have to wait for a resurrection.
I am so blessed that I won't lose my Savior.
I have hope.
That resurrection morning was glorious. Each time Christ appeared was like spring arriving. He made all things new, He makes all things new. A mother had her Son. Peter had reconciliation. Mary had her Savior. The disciples had their hope. A few days of darkness would never exist again.
I know there are a lot of hard things in our lives. I know of precious people to me that are going through hard things right now. Hard times last a long time. I am so glad that we have hope in Christ that He will reconcile us to Him during our hard times.
No matter what your "hard" time is, may you remember that you have
The Son,
The Christ,
The Savior,
The Messiah,
The Rabbi,
The Completer.
May you find your spring in Him even when the fall seems long and hard.
I am so glad spring is here. I didn't realize how much I needed spring until it finally arrived. Fall is usually my favorite season, but last fall seems so far away and winter was so long. Spring--has arrived. With it, all things become new.
My Mom died four months ago today. It seems so far away yet it also seems so fresh. The past few months have been really hard for me. I am a terrible communicator of my feelings. I do not like to cry or talk about things that bother me. Most of the time I try to sort them out on my own, which is not always healthy. This is all new to me so I am taking it as it comes. I know all the steps of the grieving process but it is different when you are the one going through it. It has been hard.
Easter was different for me this year. In years past I have spent a lot of time reflecting either on the crucifixion or the resurrection of Christ. This year the time in between affected me the most. I guess it is because I have lost someone close to me so I really reflected on what each loved one of Christ felt. I cannot even imagine how hard it must have been to lose your Christ, your Savior, your Messiah, your Completer. I thought about Mary who lost her son. I thought about Peter who denied his Rabbi. I thought about Mary Magdalene who lost her Savior. I thought about the disciples who lost all hope. I wonder what the darkness of those few days felt like for them. They didn't have the resurrection to look forward to because they weren't looking for it. I cannot even imagine how hard it was for them. They didn't even know that they were waiting for something. They didn't realize that after the fall, their spring was going to arrive.
I am so glad that I do not have to wait for a resurrection.
I am so blessed that I won't lose my Savior.
I have hope.
That resurrection morning was glorious. Each time Christ appeared was like spring arriving. He made all things new, He makes all things new. A mother had her Son. Peter had reconciliation. Mary had her Savior. The disciples had their hope. A few days of darkness would never exist again.
I know there are a lot of hard things in our lives. I know of precious people to me that are going through hard things right now. Hard times last a long time. I am so glad that we have hope in Christ that He will reconcile us to Him during our hard times.
No matter what your "hard" time is, may you remember that you have
The Son,
The Christ,
The Savior,
The Messiah,
The Rabbi,
The Completer.
May you find your spring in Him even when the fall seems long and hard.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Dump
Two weeks ago in Bible Study we talked about Luke 7:36-50 which is "A Sinful Woman Forgiven." I have been chewing on this passage for two weeks now. I am still trying to understand how God is speaking to me. The one question that keeps coming in my mind is
"Are you dumping your faith?"
Let me explain. Not dumping as in ditching, but dumping as pouring. This is a beautiful passage about a woman who ventures into a Pharisee's house who happens to be serving Christ dinner. Except that Pharisee isn't really serving Christ. He didn't wash his feet when He came in, he didn't give Him the custom kiss of greeting, nor did he anoint Christ with oil on His forehead. The funny thing is, the Pharisee calls Jesus "teacher" when Jesus addresses the comments made about the "sinful" woman. The Pharisee (named Simon) would not usually have any contact with sinners and was abhorred that this woman was there at the feet of Jesus and abhorred that Jesus would have contact with such a sinful person. Apparently the woman had a reputation.
This woman is brave. She enters a house where she is not welcome. She knows there could be consequences. She also knows that Jesus is there. Jesus has not yet claimed to be the Christ, Son of God. She comes in, kisses and wets His feet with her tears, wipes them with her hair, and dumps a an alabaster jar of ointment on His feet. The jar of alabaster ointment was probably the most expensive thing she owned. She never says anything to Christ, never asks for forgiveness, never verbally repents of any sin, never asks for salvation. She doesn't have to.
Jesus looks at her the whole time He is addressing Simon's thoughts. I wonder what His face looked like as He looked at her. He tells her that her sins are forgiven and that her faith has saved her. I wonder what the woman's face looked like when He said that. I wonder what Simon's face looked like when He said that.
I wondered if I could have been like the woman who was the "sinner."
I wondered if I could have been like the Pharisee named Simon.
Regardless, both desperately needed Christ.
So I have been thinking for two weeks now if I dump my faith out at the feet of Jesus? Do I dump my faith out as a testimony to others? Do I dump my faith out on others? Or do I live in my own dump?
I love that God continuously shows me where I am at, and where I need to go, and where I need to be. I love that the woman never had to say anything to Jesus and that He didn't have to say anything for her to know that He was the Christ. I love that she showed that her faith was her most prized possession by giving her most prized possession. I love that she wasn't afraid to dump herself out. I love that she was redeemed before Christ died on the cross. I love that God used a sinful woman to teach a Pharisee of his sin. I love that I don't have to worry if whether or not I would have been the woman or the Pharisee,
because I am already redeemed by The Christ, The Son of God.
May we dump ourselves at the feet of Christ, kiss His feet, cry over our sin, and surrender our faith to Him.
"And he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." v. 48
"And then He said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." v. 50
"Are you dumping your faith?"
Let me explain. Not dumping as in ditching, but dumping as pouring. This is a beautiful passage about a woman who ventures into a Pharisee's house who happens to be serving Christ dinner. Except that Pharisee isn't really serving Christ. He didn't wash his feet when He came in, he didn't give Him the custom kiss of greeting, nor did he anoint Christ with oil on His forehead. The funny thing is, the Pharisee calls Jesus "teacher" when Jesus addresses the comments made about the "sinful" woman. The Pharisee (named Simon) would not usually have any contact with sinners and was abhorred that this woman was there at the feet of Jesus and abhorred that Jesus would have contact with such a sinful person. Apparently the woman had a reputation.
This woman is brave. She enters a house where she is not welcome. She knows there could be consequences. She also knows that Jesus is there. Jesus has not yet claimed to be the Christ, Son of God. She comes in, kisses and wets His feet with her tears, wipes them with her hair, and dumps a an alabaster jar of ointment on His feet. The jar of alabaster ointment was probably the most expensive thing she owned. She never says anything to Christ, never asks for forgiveness, never verbally repents of any sin, never asks for salvation. She doesn't have to.
Jesus looks at her the whole time He is addressing Simon's thoughts. I wonder what His face looked like as He looked at her. He tells her that her sins are forgiven and that her faith has saved her. I wonder what the woman's face looked like when He said that. I wonder what Simon's face looked like when He said that.
I wondered if I could have been like the woman who was the "sinner."
I wondered if I could have been like the Pharisee named Simon.
Regardless, both desperately needed Christ.
So I have been thinking for two weeks now if I dump my faith out at the feet of Jesus? Do I dump my faith out as a testimony to others? Do I dump my faith out on others? Or do I live in my own dump?
I love that God continuously shows me where I am at, and where I need to go, and where I need to be. I love that the woman never had to say anything to Jesus and that He didn't have to say anything for her to know that He was the Christ. I love that she showed that her faith was her most prized possession by giving her most prized possession. I love that she wasn't afraid to dump herself out. I love that she was redeemed before Christ died on the cross. I love that God used a sinful woman to teach a Pharisee of his sin. I love that I don't have to worry if whether or not I would have been the woman or the Pharisee,
because I am already redeemed by The Christ, The Son of God.
May we dump ourselves at the feet of Christ, kiss His feet, cry over our sin, and surrender our faith to Him.
"And he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." v. 48
"And then He said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." v. 50
Monday, March 15, 2010
Shine
I love to feel the warmth of the sun on my face. On a good fall or spring afternoon, even on a hot summer day it feels good to tilt my face to feel the sun. Here in GA, we haven't really seen the sun since, well..... August. We have had a few days here and there when the sun has shown and it really makes a difference. I hear everybody say how much they miss the sun lately. It is amazing how the absence of the sun affects us all so much! This morning I was out pruning some bushes and my crepe myrtle and was so wishing I could tilt my face up to feel the sun. Maybe tomorrow. At least it is something to look forward to---a little sunshine!
Ashlie started Bible Study last week asking us to define glory in reference to God. We said things like "recognition, essence, praise, and adoration." She said it is one of those "churchy" words we use sometimes that is hard to pinpoint the exact meaning even though we get it in our head. She gave us two definitions, one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament. Glory is mainly used as a verb in the OT as "kabad." In reference to God it means to be heavy or weighty. It is God revealing who He is, His heaviness, His presence. It is used 106 times this way in the OT. In the NT, glory is used as a noun "doxa" in view, opinion, magnificence, and preeminence of Christ. It is used 150 times in the NT in this way. So how does this glory work in our sanctification?
We always say things like "give God the glory" or "to God be the glory" or "glorify Him." God already has the glory. He is the glory. What can we give Him? Ashlie reminded us that we represented God's glory before the fall of man. We were made in His image. Now that we have sinned, we have lost it. We distorted it in us. He still has it but the only way we can share in it, reveal it, is through our relationship with Christ. The precious righteousness He gives us when we surrender to Him reveals Himself to others. It is nothing we can do on our own because of our darkness, but it is His glory that shines as He is changing us to be more like Him, the way we were meant to be.
My sweet sister gave me some precious words last week. After she read my post she reminded me of something I need in my relationship with Christ. She told me to read John 13:1-15. It is the passage where Christ washes His disciples feet before Judas betrays Him. When Christ gets to Peter, Peter tells Him, "You shall never wash my feet." (v.8) He didn't understand the humility in Christ. My sister reminded me that even though this passage teaches me how to serve others, I must also remember that Christ wants to wash my feet. That I need to sit in His presence and bask in His glory. That I love Him because He first loved me. I want so badly to remove the rust from the bucket and be sanctified I get focused on doing, doing, doing. I forget that God wants to polish me. That I don't "need" to do anything. Sometimes He wants me to be still and sit at His feet. He makes me shiny. That is why He has me quiet and wants me to rest.
Thanks sis for seeing things I forget.
The glory we have is given to us by God. We need to reflect Him and give it back. We need His glory to overcome our darkness.
Tilt your face to feel the warmth of the Son.
There are a lot of days we don't see the Son.
There are a lot of people who are missing the Son lately.
The Son really makes a difference.
It is amazing how the absence of the Son affects us all so much.
Don't wait until tomorrow. Bask in His glory today.
I pray that you will feel they heaviness, weightiness, presence, view, magnificence, and preeminence of God's glory.
It is His. It is Him. He is the Son.
"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26. Aaron's blessing given to Moses by God.
Ashlie started Bible Study last week asking us to define glory in reference to God. We said things like "recognition, essence, praise, and adoration." She said it is one of those "churchy" words we use sometimes that is hard to pinpoint the exact meaning even though we get it in our head. She gave us two definitions, one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament. Glory is mainly used as a verb in the OT as "kabad." In reference to God it means to be heavy or weighty. It is God revealing who He is, His heaviness, His presence. It is used 106 times this way in the OT. In the NT, glory is used as a noun "doxa" in view, opinion, magnificence, and preeminence of Christ. It is used 150 times in the NT in this way. So how does this glory work in our sanctification?
We always say things like "give God the glory" or "to God be the glory" or "glorify Him." God already has the glory. He is the glory. What can we give Him? Ashlie reminded us that we represented God's glory before the fall of man. We were made in His image. Now that we have sinned, we have lost it. We distorted it in us. He still has it but the only way we can share in it, reveal it, is through our relationship with Christ. The precious righteousness He gives us when we surrender to Him reveals Himself to others. It is nothing we can do on our own because of our darkness, but it is His glory that shines as He is changing us to be more like Him, the way we were meant to be.
My sweet sister gave me some precious words last week. After she read my post she reminded me of something I need in my relationship with Christ. She told me to read John 13:1-15. It is the passage where Christ washes His disciples feet before Judas betrays Him. When Christ gets to Peter, Peter tells Him, "You shall never wash my feet." (v.8) He didn't understand the humility in Christ. My sister reminded me that even though this passage teaches me how to serve others, I must also remember that Christ wants to wash my feet. That I need to sit in His presence and bask in His glory. That I love Him because He first loved me. I want so badly to remove the rust from the bucket and be sanctified I get focused on doing, doing, doing. I forget that God wants to polish me. That I don't "need" to do anything. Sometimes He wants me to be still and sit at His feet. He makes me shiny. That is why He has me quiet and wants me to rest.
Thanks sis for seeing things I forget.
The glory we have is given to us by God. We need to reflect Him and give it back. We need His glory to overcome our darkness.
Tilt your face to feel the warmth of the Son.
There are a lot of days we don't see the Son.
There are a lot of people who are missing the Son lately.
The Son really makes a difference.
It is amazing how the absence of the Son affects us all so much.
Don't wait until tomorrow. Bask in His glory today.
I pray that you will feel they heaviness, weightiness, presence, view, magnificence, and preeminence of God's glory.
It is His. It is Him. He is the Son.
"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26. Aaron's blessing given to Moses by God.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Six
Saturday night JJ fell asleep on the couch. He had played outside almost the entire day. He was wiped. We woke him up and made him go upstairs to get ready for bed. I was waiting for him on his bed when he came out of the bathroom. I said "JJ brush your teeth." He paused and walked to the sink and just stood there. I said "what's wrong?" He said "I don't have a toothbrush." By the look on my face, he knew he'd been had!!
"Why don't you have a toothbrush?" Silence. "Where is your toothbrush?" Silence. My voice rising, "How long have you not had your toothbrush?" Silence. Me becoming ballistic, "Did you leave your toothbrush at your friend's house when you slept over there LAST weekend?" Slow head nod yes. "SO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T BRUSHED YOUR TEETH FOR A WEEK? DO WE NOT HAVE A PLETHORA (yes I said plethora) OF TOOTHBRUSHES UNDER THE SINK?" Slow head nod yes. "WHY DID YOU NOT GET ONE OF THOSE? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH? CAVITIES!!
HOW OLD ARE YOU JJ?
DO YOU NOT KNOW BY NOW TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH?"
Of course at this point I was so beside myself that I had to leave the room. This was after he had gotten up at 8 a.m. Sat morning, played for two hours before we left the house, and then informed me he was hungry because he had forgotten to eat breakfast. This was after I drove the child back up to school Thursday night to get his homework out of his desk because he had left it there for the third time. So I had a Mommy moment Saturday night.
JJ is six.
So after I tucked him and got myself settled into bed, I laid there thinking about the whole situation. Why did I get so aggravated at him? After all, it is not like he was disobedient. Forgetting homework, breakfast, teeth brushing, is not a sin. It just isn't important to him. He is six. All he wants to do is play. He will deal with his grades, hunger, and cavities when he wants to. When he isn't playing. When someone tells him too.
Because he is six.
That is why I was so aggravated. These things seem so little to him now, but they are important to his life. I want him to understand that he is responsible, he is accountable for everything he does in life. I want him to realize that skipping small stuff, leads to bigger stuff. That there are consequences. Even though these things may not seem important to him and only important to me, they should be important to him. I had this discussion with JJ after the fact. I want him to listen. I want him to understand. This is part of growing up, even though he is only six.
Sunday God whacked me over the head with the whole situation. He reminded me that I am just like JJ. That there are so many "little" things I skip in my relationship with Him because I am too busy "playing" life. I let the "me" distract me. God reminded me of my accountability to Him. He reminded me of what I skip because it doesn't seem important at the time. He reminded me that in my relationship with Him, sometimes I am only six. That's a long way from being galvanized!!!!
I want Christ to rule every thought, action, and piece of my heart. I want to be a Godly wife. I want to be a Godly example for Nia and JJ. I want to be accountable and take captive everything to God. I am humbled how God uses my teaching moments (or ballistic moments) with my kids to teach me. It reminds me how unworthy I am to have Him as my parent.
I pray that we wouldn't let this world distract us. I pray that we would do our "homework." I pray that we wouldn't ignore our hunger for God's Word. I pray that we would continually "brush our teeth" so we can remove everything that isn't suppose to be there to allow the only One that is.
May you grow beyond "six" in your relationship with God.
....But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap
leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. Romans 6:22
"Why don't you have a toothbrush?" Silence. "Where is your toothbrush?" Silence. My voice rising, "How long have you not had your toothbrush?" Silence. Me becoming ballistic, "Did you leave your toothbrush at your friend's house when you slept over there LAST weekend?" Slow head nod yes. "SO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T BRUSHED YOUR TEETH FOR A WEEK? DO WE NOT HAVE A PLETHORA (yes I said plethora) OF TOOTHBRUSHES UNDER THE SINK?" Slow head nod yes. "WHY DID YOU NOT GET ONE OF THOSE? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH? CAVITIES!!
HOW OLD ARE YOU JJ?
DO YOU NOT KNOW BY NOW TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH?"
Of course at this point I was so beside myself that I had to leave the room. This was after he had gotten up at 8 a.m. Sat morning, played for two hours before we left the house, and then informed me he was hungry because he had forgotten to eat breakfast. This was after I drove the child back up to school Thursday night to get his homework out of his desk because he had left it there for the third time. So I had a Mommy moment Saturday night.
JJ is six.
So after I tucked him and got myself settled into bed, I laid there thinking about the whole situation. Why did I get so aggravated at him? After all, it is not like he was disobedient. Forgetting homework, breakfast, teeth brushing, is not a sin. It just isn't important to him. He is six. All he wants to do is play. He will deal with his grades, hunger, and cavities when he wants to. When he isn't playing. When someone tells him too.
Because he is six.
That is why I was so aggravated. These things seem so little to him now, but they are important to his life. I want him to understand that he is responsible, he is accountable for everything he does in life. I want him to realize that skipping small stuff, leads to bigger stuff. That there are consequences. Even though these things may not seem important to him and only important to me, they should be important to him. I had this discussion with JJ after the fact. I want him to listen. I want him to understand. This is part of growing up, even though he is only six.
Sunday God whacked me over the head with the whole situation. He reminded me that I am just like JJ. That there are so many "little" things I skip in my relationship with Him because I am too busy "playing" life. I let the "me" distract me. God reminded me of my accountability to Him. He reminded me of what I skip because it doesn't seem important at the time. He reminded me that in my relationship with Him, sometimes I am only six. That's a long way from being galvanized!!!!
I want Christ to rule every thought, action, and piece of my heart. I want to be a Godly wife. I want to be a Godly example for Nia and JJ. I want to be accountable and take captive everything to God. I am humbled how God uses my teaching moments (or ballistic moments) with my kids to teach me. It reminds me how unworthy I am to have Him as my parent.
I pray that we wouldn't let this world distract us. I pray that we would do our "homework." I pray that we wouldn't ignore our hunger for God's Word. I pray that we would continually "brush our teeth" so we can remove everything that isn't suppose to be there to allow the only One that is.
May you grow beyond "six" in your relationship with God.
....But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap
leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. Romans 6:22
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